Today after bringing my daughter to daycare I was biking home. And then suddenly at a crossing that I’m usually able to cross quite quickly there were so many cars that my automatic pilot went on and I realised that I was saying things like: ‘Fuck this, stupid cars, why now’? ‘Wow, wow, wow calm down’, I heard another voice say. ‘It’s not that bad’! I quickly picked myself up and flipped the negative voice and told myself to look around me. Look at the trees and the sky. Things I rarely take time to see. I also followed my breath for a little bit, as I was standing there, and then the unimpressed voice went: ‘Oh yes just breath in this ugly car exhaust, that’s healthy’. ‘Wow, wow, wow again! This negative voice is on a roll’!
So, I sort of ignored it and actually laughed about it, because isn’t it funny how this negative voice in my head is trying to get me in a bad mood? Maybe it has good intentions like trying to get me home as quickly as possible and the cars and traffic are obviously in its way. For a big part of my life this negative voice was quite prominent. So much so that it was indistinguishable from my normal internal voice. But now I do notice it, and I believe it doesn’t serve me at all. So, I choose to laugh about it and let it pass. It is amazingly empowering to realise how everyone has a choice to either follow the negative thoughts and deal with its consequences like being stressed out OR to say, this is just a thought, I will let it pass. And then the trick is to be present, to enjoy the road, the traffic, the trees, the sky, your breath or the sounds. Use these beautiful senses of ours to just be in the now. I will try to use the traffic as a way to be in the now, this will be my challenge, every time I get into a traffic jam, or stop for a red light, wait for a bridge to open or to close, I will look up, see the sky, and take a couple of good deep breaths, and just try to be in the now. Are you with me?