I don't feel like talking to her

I don’t feel like talking to her.


Today I didn’t want to talk to a person that I worked with and that I actually wanted to involve in a project of mine. I messaged her a week ago asking to discuss this project but then I somehow told myself, ‘I don’t feel like it, it’s going to be a negative talk and I would rather postpone it to some other day’. And there it was! Bam!!! Me being aware of this negativity self-talk! YOOHOO! So basically, I asked myself WHY. Why am I afraid to talk to her? And there it was. I had a fear that this person might judge me because I hadn’t contacted her for a while. That she might tell me to fuck off with my ideas and plans and that she wouldn’t help me.

But then I decided to challenge myself and call her ASAP. This is what happened: she picked up and we had a good conversation, she did tell me that she was a bit worried that I hadn’t called in a while, but also happy I did. I gave her my sincere apologies and we discussed a project I wanted her to be involved in and she agreed.

These are for me the moments when my fear can spiral and create more negativity. Taking this example; I could have believed this fear and insecurity, and I could have avoided her, believing that she didn’t want to work with me anymore. Moreover, this might have turned into me not daring to contact her at all, and I would have had to miss out on a great person in my life because I followed my fear. So, whenever you feel something negative towards another person, or you catch yourself making up excuses why not to contact someone, just think about it a bit deeper and asking yourself why you are doing it? Try not to fool yourself with the answer, because at the end of the day you only grow when you are honest with yourself and your thoughts. Is it a fear or an insecurity talking? Maybe think of the worst thing that could happen to you if you did what you are afraid to do?


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