I caught myself today in a long dialogue with myself in my head. Two voices were the main characters: one called ‘Guilty’ and the other one ‘Give me a break’. And they were discussing the topic of my son Noam going to his grandma’s in Switzerland for 7 nights. Both my husband and I have fears about the trip. It’s a long time for him to be away from home. My Guilty voice fears that, ‘This will cause Noam to have attachment issues forever as you are abandoning him and he will hate you forever, you bad mom’. Then the ‘Give me a break’ voice answers back by saying, ‘He will have a great time at grandma’s, dont listen to this crazio! And what about ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’? Followed quickly by Guilty, So you want to traumatize your son so much that it will nearly kill him? How dare you, bad bad mom’! Good thing I caught this one before it got too far along because potentially it would make me feel bad for days, maybe weeks. So I thought about it and the important lesson Eckhart Tolle voiced, ‘You have no idea what the future looks like, so stop worrying’. It makes sense right? I can of course worry about whether my son will have an awful time at grandma’s and miss us so much that he will be completely traumatised, but will this really happen? Will it? To be honest, I have no idea. It could happen but I have no control over it. So why am I worrying about it? Once I understood this I had two choices: I could either cancel the trip or prepare my son for the trip as much as possible. I decided to push Guilty to the side and prepare my son for this trip by explaining to him that it will be 7 nights, we can even make a small calendar so he will feel more empowered. I will also record some bedtime stories, so his grandma can play them and he will have my voice in the evening hopefully making him feel a bit closer to home. And yes…this also makes me feel much better! So Guilty…park it! Masha is driving this bus pretty damn well.
So, whenever you hear the guilty voice in your head, try to make a choice: accept it or take action…or both! This will give you a chance to not let yourself be controlled by negative thoughts and take action.