Tag Archives: appearance

garlic soup

Fear of the garlic soup.

My husband decided to make pumpkin soup. While we (me and the kids) were eagerly waiting for the soup to be ready, we heard my husband shouting from the kitchen. ‘AAH SHIT!  I’m afraid I put too much garlic in the soup’. The smell that was wafting from the kitchen smelled nothing like pumpkin soup just a very strong garlic aroma. This doesn’t sound like a major problem, right?

Well, my mind would disagree. ‘OMG, he is terrible at cooking. I will just have to make it myself next time’. The voice continued, ‘Now the kids will have stomach issues and we won’t sleep because Misha (our youngest daughter sometimes has tummy troubles) will wake up 6 times in the night and it will be a horrible day tomorrow’!

WOWOWOW, fear voice you need to step down.

Once I was able to quiet all that noise I thought about what Eckhart Tolle says about the future and how we can’t control it so why worry about it. Worrying won’t change the future, so why worry?  So yes, why should I worry about the garlic soup that might or might not cause Misha to have stomach pain in the night?

So I let go. I played nicely with the kids until the soup was ready and we ate our garlic soup…which wasn’t even that bad (it wasn’t good either). And guess what, Misha didn’t wake up in the night! What a delight it is to be in the now and not in the future. What a change in perspective it is to be able to be aware of my thoughts, so they won’t control my present moments.

So how do you deal with fear?

Well first, you have to be aware of the negative thoughts. That is already a big challenge believe me! What helps me a lot next to meditation, is to believe and remember that we are not what we think, we are the awareness behind the thinking. This means that we are able to be aware of our thoughts, but only when we realize that our thoughts are not who we are.

Once you’ve recognised your negative thought (congrats) you enter level two: you can choose to accept the situation or change the situation. In my case, I decided to accept the fear and by this, I mean I recognised the fear but didn’t take it seriously. I didn’t change the situation. I could have for example made a new soup. But, I let it pass and just enjoyed the moment, celebrating my own little victory on my fear of garlic soup!

I truly believe that we all are capable of being more aware of our negative thoughts, which will empower us to say, ‘Hey Mister Fear, I see you but I choose to not take you serious’! Imagine what this can do in our daily lives, for our relationships with other people, and to our entire environment!

sweaty fool

I will look like a sweaty fool.

So while I was standing in front of my closet, trying to pick which t-shirt I was going to wear today, I suddenly became aware of a fear! And the fear appeared when I took a t-shirt that might show sweat around my armpits. And my fear was, ‘If you sweat, which most likely you will, you will make a fool out of yourself and people will be grossed out by you. Not sexy at all! AHAH’! Taking a deep breath in, I caught the fear! And then I decided to face that fear by challenging myself to wearing that t-shirt! So I did. Well, the sweaty story continued throughout the day, especially once I felt the cold sweat under my armpits began advancing. And there it was; the fear that people will be grossed out when they will see my sweat popped back into my head. So, I first tried to keep my arms down; a robotic attempt to hide the inevitable. I then became aware that this was again giving into the fear. So what I did was quite impulsive. I said to my colleagues, ‘Wow I am warm! Look at that!’ and I swang my arms up in the air, showing off with my sweaty armpits! The look on their faces was a mix of humour and confusion but we all managed to laughed if not slightly uncomfortably. I soon explained to them why I did this, and we all agreed that it is actually ridiculous to be ashamed of something so natural like sweat. But also to feel limited by the choice of clothing, because let’s face it in many of the clothing you own you will be able to see once in a while sweaty armpits.

I feel that sometimes it’s really nice to involve people in your challenges, so you can release a bit of the pressure you put on yourself. It might even inspire others to be more open about fears and worries. So next time you experience negative thoughts or emotions towards something ask yourself how you could deal with it. Accepting it or maybe changing it by challenging yourself to just do it, to go and face the fear. And don’t forget at the end of the day to celebrate your victory on the fear or any other negative thoughts! You can do this!